Let's look at this dilemma from both sides of the coin - The Advice Giver and The Advice Receiver.
As The Advice Receiver, we want to be open to improvement, yet our guard is up in varying degrees across different topics - especially the ones that really hit a cord. Those are the ones we need to work on the most. We are also looking for signs in The Advice Giver that validate that they know what they are talking about, and live it each day. For example, if someone gives you advice on improving your body image and ten minutes later talks about how insecure she is about her waist size then her credibility is shot in that area. In fact, The Advice Giver has now validated that is ok to be stuck in that area because they are stuck as well.
As The Advice Giver, we want to help, yet we have to keep ourselves in check as to why we are offering the advice. Here are some good questions to ask yourself. First, did someone ask you for advice, or did you offer unsolicited advice? Usually unsolicited advice isn't received in a way that initiates change. Secondly, why do we want to offer advice? Sometimes this is because we genuinely see something that we want to help someone with and other times it can be because we are giving advice over and over to others that we are trying to tell ourselves. If you are constantly offering the same unsolicited advice in certain areas than it is time to listen to yourself. Thirdly, are you truly listening to them without your own personal ego getting in the way? A good way to gauge this is to see if you are constantly waiting for the opportune moment to cut in, or if you feel better than them by offering advice that should be obvious. These are pitfalls that we all fall into and they very much effect how well our advice is received with our friends, family, loved ones and even the stranger at the bar.
The classic phrase "Be the change you want to see in the world" applies to this as well.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS
Once you become the change that you want to see in others you will be much more effective in giving advice. In fact, you will give advice much less. Just by being you - you will create change in others. Remember to advise from a place of healing and resolution. If you try to advise on things you are working on (because we are all a work in progress across different topics) it wont' be as effective, or sustainable. You will only validate that is ok to be stuck in that area because you are still stuck. This is why having a community of people in your life is so important because we all have different strengths and weaknesses. One area that you are weak in is another's natural strength and vise versa. If you are around others who are strong in areas you are weak than you can transform your weakness into a strength and begin advising on it after you have healed and strengthened that weakness. Some weaknesses we need to just laugh at, accept and stay away from advising others on how to fix it.
